Kokoromiru
by Taiki Matsuki
Summary: A side-story to Otoko No Chigiri - After Takato's confession, Jenrya decides to give things a try and thinks about the events that led up to his decision about how he feels about Takato. Uploaded with Original Author's permission.


**EDITOR'S NOTE: **It is advised you read the fic _Otoko No Chigiri_ first, as this is a side-story to that fic. Thank you. - Taiki Matsuki

* * *

Kokoromiru

* * *

None of us really suspected him, not until the day he told us his "secret." It was June, a little after Summer break started. We were at the park, having a "Tamers' picnic," I guess...

...Hirokazu and Kenta were, well, themselves. Hirokazu was more open around us about being with Kenta. He likes to prove it to Kenta by kissing him in front of us. But, he does remind us: He's _not gay,_ he's _bisexual._ Hirokazu _loves_ _girls,_ he can't get enough of girls, girls are _sexy_, girls are something Hirokazu _loves_ to admire...

...But Kenta's better than every girl on the planet. ...I know Kenta puts up with his "I'm not gay" spiel simply for that. Kenta Kitagawa is better than girls, according to Hirokazu Shiota.

Hirokazu, really, is sort of...openly closeted. He has trouble admitting that he's bi to anyone outside of the other Tamers and Ruki just loves to annoy him with that. Granted, she can't joke about him and Kenta being the "Ambiguously Gay Tamers" anymore because...Well, there's no question.

Anyway, we started eating the sweet bread Takato brought when he got up and stood at the head of the picnic table...

_"E-Everyone...There's something I want to tell you. I've...wanted to say it for a long time but I've been afraid. I-I don't know why, but...It's something, at first, I wasn't proud of. Something that...scared me. ...However, after. what happened last Winter... ...I know, now, that I can finally say that... ...I'm... "_ He...sort of froze, he couldn't...say the next word, really. Ruki was about to chime in with her usual...um...'Ruki-ness' let's say, but Ryou stopped her. He finally said, _"I-I-I'm...I'm like...Hirokazu-kun."_ ...Takato's bi. He...likes both men and women.

He came out to us...We...We were surprised. Even though Takato was the one who suspected Kenta of being gay, none of us saw him as anything but...straight. ...In retrospect, it should have been...a little obvious. He apparently had gaydar, for one, and...Well...There's just "something about him."

We still supported him, how could we not? Hirokazu and Kenta were an item and they're our friends.

Ruki, of course, had this to say, _"Akiyama owes me five thousand yen. Pay up, Akiyama."_

_"R-Ruki...Y-You couldn't...have waited...?"_ Was Ryou's reply...Ruki and Ryou actually had a bet going about Takato. I guess...they were the only two not surprised. Especially Ruki.

Ryou paid up, apologizing to Takato non-stop...Takato, actually, thought it was funny and took it as a sign of acceptance. And he wouldn't expect anything less from Ruki Makino. Ryou did insist that, because Takato was bi, he should only pay _half_. Ruki disagreed as...Takato admitted he had a preference towards men, Ruki sort of forced it out of him...Like Hirokazu's preference towards girls, even though he's with Kenta.

Takato was...still really nervous after he came out. I got up and hugged him to make him feel better, I said, "_Takato-kun, don't be scared. Okay?"_ Takato hugged back after a moment or two of hesitation.

Ruki...would have said something, but Kenta stepped in. "_Ruki, I'll let you make fun of Hirokazu and I for five minutes, any joke you want, Hiro-chan can't complain if you promise _not_ to ruin this moment."_

Her response was, _"Deal." _Hirokazu was not amused but, for Takato, he allowed it.

It turned into sort of a group hug after that, Hirokazu and Kenta joined in. Takato felt better after that and we talked about it a little. Ruki had a few jokes, but...She always does, we don't mind.

It's...not all that strange, really. The only thing we thought was weird was why Takato waited so long after Hirokazu and Kenta came out. He told us he was still nervous about admitting to it. Takato is, to this day, really shy about personal issues. Especially like this. But he has our support, always. Especially Hirokazu and Kenta's...

Hirokazu joked that he and Takato are in the "same club" and wanted to make a "secret handshake or something." Though, as Takato said he prefers men, Hirokazu _really_ prefers women (and always reminds us of that fact). Kenta's the exception to Hirokazu's "95% Straightness."

Although...Hirokazu told us, a few months after he came out, that Kenta was...special. He loved Kenta more than...anyone else he had ever known. Kenta was the most important person in his life and, when he knew Kenta felt the same, he didn't care about his reluctance to be with another guy... ...Kenta was who he wanted to be with. Forever.

...Kenta cried, just a little, when Hirokazu told us this. Kenta...feels the same for Hirokazu and so much more. Kenta told us how much Hirokazu meant to him, how scared he was that Hirokazu would hate him for how he felt and how happy we was when Hirokazu told him he felt the same...Kenta really hasn't been this happy...Ever. I've never seen Kenta so happy until now.

A few weeks after Takato came out, though...Takato invited me to a ramen shop, one near the park that we all liked. Kenta was with him when I arrived. We ate, Takato was...quiet the whole time. After we ate, we ordered a pot of tea...

...And I got the biggest shock of my life...

"_Jen-kun, I...I want to be honest with you. This is really hard for me to say and I hope you...don't get mad. I don't expect you to do anything, I know...it won't happen. This is just...so I can be honest."_ Just...from that, I had a feeling of what he was going to say next... ...I-I couldn't...believe it. _"I...I like you, Jen. ...No, I-I love you. I've felt this way for a few years now...It's been really hard for me to keep this to myself, though. When I came out to the others, I told everyone that, even though they accepted Hirokazu and Kenta, I-I was still scared...And I didn't know why. ...You hugged me to make me feel better. And...All these years, things like that have...always meant more to me than they do to you. And...I felt bad about that, because...I was secretly enjoying things like that hug so much, I didn't know...how you'd feel about that if you knew. I didn't want you to be disgusted or to feel weird, so...I think you should know now, Jen. ...I love you. I don't expect you to like me back...I know you can't. I-I've accepted that...It's...hard to accept but it's reality. I'm...sorry if this changes things."_

...Takato...was confessing to me. He was expecting rejection, he knew I liked girls...

...But...

...Before I met Takato, I never had many friends. I was pretty much a loner as a kid. It wasn't until I met Takato that I had a friend. And, at the time, we were so close...I thought, "_THIS_ is what it's like to have a best friend!" ...Except...

...I-I had to talk to Takato about this alone. I apologized to Kenta, since I felt it was rude, but I asked if...I could be alone with Takato for this. Kenta said he understood and left, leaving some money for his meal. He looked worried for Takato...It was because I had gone so silent. I-I couldn't...do or say anything else...

...I had no idea what to say. Or...how I felt.

After a while, Takato spoke, "_...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you...I-I'm so sorry, Jen...Please...don't be mad."_

...I told him, "_Takato, no, don't...don't apologize for this. I'm not mad. I just...had no idea you felt this way about me. It's a lot to take in. I'm not mad, though..."_

Takato was...close to crying at the point. He said, _"I still...shouldn't have told you."_

...I decided...to be honest with him about how I felt...

_"Takato...I... ...Before I met you, I never had many friends. And the friends I did have, I wasn't very close to. You...were so different from anyone else I'd ever met. I always liked being around you, I was always happy. ...I thought 'this is what it's like having a real best friend.' And...After our partners went back to the Digital World, you and I...We needed each other for that. Seeing you was one of the few things that made me feel better about not having Terriermon around."_

Takato told me, _"...You...Did the same for me with Guilmon. I didn't miss him less, but...It was the only time I really...I don't want to say 'forgot' about him, but...He wasn't on my mind as 'gone.' I just...thought about how I was with my best friend, who knew what I was feeling."_

_"Exactly... And, through the years...We've only gotten closer, haven't we? Especially...on your side, it seems."_

_"Y-Yeah..."_

...I...I had no idea how I felt about Takato. Looking back, we were...so close. Closer than most friends, I think. And, like I said, I never had many friends before I met Takato...

I'm friends with the others, of course, we're all close after all we've been through...But...

...Takato and I are on a different level than, say, Ryou and I or Juri and I...Takato's...different. Takato's special...

...I wondered if...maybe...That close friendship was more than that and I didn't recognize it. I thought...that was how it felt to have a best friend like Takato, when in reality...I was in love with him.

And...Takato is important to me, I can't imagine things without him as my friend. I care about him...a lot, to say the least. ...So...

I told him, "_Takato...I-I don't...really know how to put this...But... ...I want to give it a try."_

_"G-Give what a try?"_

_"...I want to try being with you. ...I-I don't know, exactly, how I feel about you. I don't know if the feelings I have for you are...just a close friendship or...maybe love. Can...we try it? Just...for a little while. If...I don't feel the same, we can still be friends."_

Takato's reaction surprised me. _"N-No, Jen...I-I know...you're not...I don't want you to feel like you have to like me back. R-Really, I accept the fact that...we can't be together." _ I honestly thought he'd be open to the idea.

_"...I don't accept that fact. I really want to know, Takato. And, besides, you're...You're the best friend I've ever had...I-I wouldn't feel right just saying 'sorry, I don't swing that way.' I...I know it's weird to ask but... ...I want to try it. J-Just...N-No kissing...I need to prepare for that, okay?"_ ...It...would be my first kiss. And, if I don't feel the same...Well...I-It'd be a little awkward... Granted, I'd sort of know how Hirokazu and Kenta felt for a few years, but...

"_But...You, Ryou and Hirokazu check out girls a lot..."_

_"And...Who is Hirokazu with now, exactly?"_ Hirokazu hadn't checked out girls with Ryou and I since being with Kenta. His heart is Kenta's now. He takes it seriously, he may _insist_ that he still likes girls but he doesn't even take a second glance anymore. Hirokazu _likes_ girls, he _loves_ Kenta.

"_G-Good point...Ha ha ha." _Takato finally agreed after that. "_I-If you want, Jen-kun...But, please, don't...force yourself to like me."  
_

_"I won't...Takato-chan."_ ...I sort of...liked the blush he got from me calling him that. We...called that our "first date." After that, we went to the park and just talked...He called me "Jen-chan."

...I liked it.

Things...were leaning towards "feel the same" but...I wanted to be absolutely sure.

For the first few weeks, we took things slow. We'd hold hands, we'd hug more, he...told me he loved me. A lot...

...The first time I said "I love you, Takato" felt...strange. I don't know how to describe it, I know I blushed a lot when I said it...Takato did, too...But...After that, I went home...

...I sat in my room for a while and thought...About how things were progressing and my feelings for Takato. A little after I started thinking, there was a knock at my door.

_"Jianliang, can I come in?"_

_"Sure, Lianjie."_

Lianjie came into my room with...this smile on his face. This sort of 'I know something' smile...

"W_ho is she?"_

_"Wh-What?"_

_"When you came home, Jianliang...I saw you walk in the door. I've _never_ seen you smile like that. You...looked like you were in love. So, who is she?"_

...I-I couldn't believe it... ...Lianjie...thought I was with a girl now. And the fact that...he noticed this right after the first time I told Takato I _loved_ him...

...I...was beginning to think...I might really have feelings for Takato.

I was semi-honest with Lianjie...

_"I'm...not seeing a girl, Lianjie."_

_"Bro, don't lie...I know that look. Come on, is it Juri?"_

...I decided not to hide it.

_"...Lianjie, can you...keep a secret?"_

_"Of course. Now gimme her name."_

_"...Takato."_

_"...T-Takato?"_

_"He...confessed to me a few weeks ago and... ...I don't know how I feel about him. So...I decided to...give it a chance. I decided to try being with Takato."_

_"...Holy shit...Y-You're...trying to go gay...for Takato?"_

_"N-No, I'm...not 'going gay' for Takato, Lianjie...I'm...trying to figure out my feelings for him. ...I've never had a friend like him. Please, understand..."_

_"I-I...sort of do, but... ...Jianliang, I-I had...no idea you...Wow... I-I know a surefire way to know, though."_

_"...You do?"_

Lianjie went to my computer, opened my browser and typed something in a search engine. He grinned and said, _"This'll tell you whether or not you like him. Remember to lock your door."_

...He typed "gay porn" into a search engine. ...That...was Lianjie's way of "telling" if I was gay or straight or whatever...

...My brother... ...Is... ...I-I can't find words to describe him. He's just...LIANJIE!

I closed the browser and went back to thinking...It did, however, inspire one thought...

...Do I find Takato...physically attractive?

...I-I thought about that for a while, actually. ...I realized...

...Takato is...

...Cute. Let's call it...that. "Cute."

.I-I realized that I found Takato to be...cute. And not in the...general complimenting sense.

The next day, I called him and asked him to meet me at the park...

_"Jen...What is it you wanted to tell me?"_

_"...My brother told me I looked like I was in love yesterday, when I came home. ...I-I also...realized __that... ...I like you...physically speaking. N-Not like...I _want_ you, I mean... ...You're cute." _Again, Takato was blushing profusely. So was I. "_Takato... ...I'm...almost certain I feel the same."_

_"...A-Are you sure?"_

_"...Yes, and...I want to be with you. I'm always happy around you..."_

_"...And...That kiss?"_

_"...A-A little later...I-I just...realized I'm bi, Takato."_

_"I understand. S-Sorry, it's just..."_

_"I know...I promise, it'll be soon..."_

...It wasn't soon... Not at all.

That night, I thought about what I told Takato.

And I got worried.

I'm still afraid to kiss him... How can I say I love him back and still be afraid of such a simple gesture? I was worried that...Maybe I was wrong and I...just...

...I just did the worst thing I could have done to Takato. I told him...we could be together...

...And if I'm wrong...

...I was going to break my best friend's heart.

I don't know why the idea of kissing him is so scary to me. I guess it's because it's the "final step." If I kiss Takato and enjoy it... ...I like men. I-I'm really...attracted to other males. I-I'm afraid of that because it's a part of me I had no idea existed...How could I have gone so long without this realization?

...Because...I never had many friends before Takato... ...Takato could be my first love and I never realized it. I just thought _that_ is what a real friend is like. Not...I'm in love with this person. ...This person who is so precious to me...

...If...If I ruined my friendship with Takato...

...I could never forgive myself.

I still...went along with things like before. We did everything we thought a couple should do...except kiss.

...I even...told the others how I felt about Takato. I-I told everyone...I was with him. I even said, "_I don't know if I'm gay or straight or bi or anything...I just...really care about Takato. Being with him makes me happy." _...I-I realized the truth to those words. I _still_ didn't know if... ...I was gay or straight or bi... ...I still wasn't sure. ...I just knew Takato was _so_ important to me.

...I feel hypocritical about telling Hirokazu to kiss Kenta in front of us when when he was so afraid to admit he was with him...I can't kiss Takato when we're alone. And...I know it's something he wants...

...And that was...when it happened...

The very first time...Takato and I were ever mad at each other...

We were in the park after another date...

"_Jen...It's...been so long. Wh-Why can't...we kiss?"_

_"I-I'm sorry, Takato, it's...just a big step."_

_"W-We told the others! We're...We're together aren't we? J-Jen...you...you said you were in love with me, right?"_

_"I-I am..."_

_"...Are you?"_

_"T-Takato!"_

_"I-I just...I feel like you...I feel like you're just...acting to make me happy. And I feel terrible for that-"_

_"A-Acting? T-Takato! I told...I told everyone I was in love with you! Th-That's not acting! That's coming out! Ev-Everyone...knows I...I like...men now... ...I-I'm out! B-Because of you..."_ I-I shouldn't...have said that. I didn't mean it in...an accusing way, but... Takato took it like that.

_"Because of me? Jen, y-you were the one who called the others together! You...You were the one who told them... ...That...you were so happy with me..."_

_"...Yeah...Happy..." _...Damn it...I-I'm sorry, Takato... I immediately regretted saying that.

_"...Jen..."_

_"T-Takato, sorry, I just...I-I need a minute, okay? ...It's...I-I...I don't know..."_

_"...I-I knew...this...was a bad idea...Jen, y-you...You're not gay...You're not bi...You...You just...tried to make me happy. ...I'm sorry..."_

_"Takato, I-I didn't...do this just to make you happy! I wanted to know...how I really feel about you...And I _know_ I love you."_

_"Then...why can't you kiss me? Why is that harder than telling the others we're a couple?"_

_"...It...just is..."_

_"...I knew it... ...I-I'm sorry, Jen..."_

_"T-Takato...Where...Where are you going?"_

...He didn't answer, he just walked home...I think he was crying. ...He...he felt...like I was just leading him on. That...this was all a sick joke to me...

...I-I...I'm sorry, Takato...I don't know why this...is so hard for me...

...That's...why I'm here now.

"...Jenrya?" Mrs. Matsuda looks up to me from the cash register. "Welcome!"

"I-Is...Takato home?"

"He's in his room, he's been sort of upset about something for the past couple days. I haven't seen him like this before..." Mrs. Matsuda says. ...We...haven't told our parents about the 'experiment,' let's say. They don't know Takato is bi, either...Takato says it's the _last_ thing he wants them to know. I still feel like an idiot for telling Lianjie...Thankfully, he supports us and can keep a secret. I did tell him I _didn't_ look at his 'surefire trick' when he asked. ...He doesn't believe me.

"Would it be all right if I saw him? It's...important," I say.

"I suppose, if he's up for it. You know where his room is and...Seeing you always cheers him up, Jenrya. Thanks for coming by," Mrs. Matsuda smiles. ...That...just hurts...

...I feel so bad about what I've done...

I nod with a forced smile and go into the back of the bakery, taking my shoes off at the bottom of the stairs. ...I go up to Takato's room and knock on the door. "...Takato?"

I hear Takato speak through the door. "...Leave me alone, Jen. I-I...I can't see you." ...Gods, Takato has _never_ said anything like that to me before.

"...I'm sorry. I-I want to...talk about...you know what. Please, let me come in. I'm...so sorry."

"...No." ...Takato...I-I can't...believe we're actually fighting like this...

"Takato, please...Just...hear me out." I feel tears in my eyes, one makes it way down my cheek. "I...I'm so sorry...I-I need to see you. Please."

...I hear a click from his door knob. ...I try to turn it...

...It's locked.

"...Takato..." I fall to my knees, I can't hold back. "Takato, no, don't...don't do this...Please. Just let me see you for one minute. ...That's all I ask. I-If you're...still mad after that, I-I'll leave you alone forever, just...Please...One minute."

I wait...There's another click...

I turn Takato's doorknob...He unlocked it. ...Thank the Gods...

I wipe my eyes, taking a deep breath...I-I need to do this...

I open the door and walk into Takato's room... ...He's sitting at his desk, facing me with his head down...I don't think he wants to look at me.

I close the door behind me. "...Takato...I know I love you." I say. "I-I swear, I wasn't leading you on...I wasn't forcing myself to be with you... ...And...I'm ready to prove it. Please...Let me do that. Please, don't be mad at me."

"...Jen...I-I...I forced you into this...I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself. I-I'm selfish, Jen...Y-You 'came out' when you...weren't bi or gay or 'anything,' you...just wanted to make me happy. And...I-I know we can't be together. Especially...after what...I've done..." Takato...starts to cry. "H-How can...I be your friend after what I've done? ...I-I've ruined things..." ...You didn't ruin things, Takato. I did. And...I can't forgive myself if this is the last time we speak.

"...Takato...Let me kiss you. Okay? ...If...I feel nothing, then you're right. ...But... I think...I was afraid of kissing you because...It was what made things 'official' for me...I-I'm not like Hirokazu but... ...Takato, I _never_ thought...I'd feel this way about another male. ...It...was just an experiment at first, to see...what it would be like, to see if it was...possible. ...And, now... ...Takato, I _want_ to kiss you. I _need_ to know for sure..."

"...It's your first kiss, are you sure you want to waste it on me, Jen?" Yes. "...I-I forced you into this. That, because you're my friend, you felt obligated to try to be with me. ...You didn't have to do that, I didn't want you to lie to yourself... ...Are you sure about this? I'm...sorry I got mad before about the kiss, it...just made me realize how selfish I am. ...I'm so sorry, Jen."

"T-Takato, you're not selfish...I did this because I wanted to. It was my idea, rememer? I-I was happy with you all those times, I enjoyed...being a little more than friends...And, Takato...Y-You're so important to me, I don't...I don't want our friendship to end over this!"

"N-Neither do I, but... ...How can it _not_, Jen? After...all this?" ...After what I've done.. ...No, if I can't feel the same I'd...have led him on, I'd have made him feel so guilty for 'forcing' me to like him, I'd...

...I would break his heart. Because...I know how serious Takato was about being together. And how...happy it made him, even if we didn't kiss at first.

"It...will either end right now with us...never speaking again... ..Or it will end because we're more than friends. ...This is...where we find out which. I-I promise, I won't pretend to like it if I don't. ...This is it, Takato. ...W-We're either...broken up beyond repair or... ...I really do love you and...I was just a coward before. I'm sorry."

"Jen, you're not a coward...You're Jen." Takato finally looks up at me. Tears are running down his cheeks. "You're the bravest person I know. Don't call yourself a coward."

"And don't call yourself selfish," I reply. "Takato, you're...the most selfless person I know. You would do anything for a friend...Especially me. ...So, can we...try to fix things?"

Takato nods, he gets up and wipes his eyes. He steps closer to me...

...This is it. I reach forward and hold him close, he wasn't really expecting that but...He doesn't resist. I take that as a good sign. After a moment, we lean forward and our lips meet...

...I-I know how I feel now...

I know...exactly how I feel about Takato Matsuda...

...Takato breaks the kiss first. "...How...do you feel, Jen?"

I...I look to him and smile ever-so-slightly. "...I love you, Takato."

"Y-You're sure?"

"Completely. I love you, Takato. I-I'm _so_ sorry about the other day."

"I-I'm the one who should be sorry, Jen..." Takato holds back a sob, wiping his eyes again. "I-I don't...know what came over me."

"We both said stupid things...We'll just...kiss and make up?"

Takato wipes his eyes with a smile. "Y-Yeah...Kiss and make up."

...And that's exactly what we did.

...I know I'm with who I want now. I know it for sure.

* * *

It's been a week since our first and hopefully last fight... We both "kissed and made up" for...a long time.

...And...Takato's out to his parents now. I-It was...a total accident but...

...His Dad was walking outside the hall while we were talking. When he heard us talking about no longer being friends. He was worried and listened in... ...And... W-Well, he heard...Everything. He confronted us as I was about to leave...

...He accepts Takato and our relationship, he was upset at first until he heard what we said about each other and realized exactly how much we loved each other. He's still..."adjusting," let's say, but Takato's Mother is happy for us. She actually _suspected_ we might end up like this because "it's obvious how much Takato cares about Jenrya," she told Takato's Dad after we told her.

...I told my family, too, from the "experiment" to our first kiss. ...Jialing was _especially_ supportive of me, she even gave me a hug when I teared up while talking about the fight we had. Everyone else is behind us. I wasn't too worried about telling them, they knew about Hirokazu and Kenta and...

...Actually, no-one was really surprised by that news... Lianjie had even said, "I know, they've been together for _years._ It's _really_ obvious." I corrected him, it had only been about a month. And I _loved_ Hirokazu's reaction when I told him about that. Everyone did.

So, things...are mostly normal now. I'm with Takato, we're happy...We kiss _frequently._ I think some of that has to do with Takato making up for lost time and being _sure_ that I'm okay with it...

...And I have no problem proving that to him at all. The only problem I have is...a frequent topic of discussion among the others that's come up as of late...

"...Jen's gay," Hirokazu says, crossing his arms.

"Hirokazu, he's _gotta_ be bi," Kenta shakes his head. "I mean, he checked out girls with you and Ryou before!"

"Yeah, for _years," _Hirokazu says. "Never dated _one!_"

...They seem to be completely unaware that I'm right across from them at the park picnic table. Ruki, Juri and Ryou are at the table next to ours with some frozen mochi in a cooler while Takato's next to me...Takato-chan, I love you, but could you _please_ _not_ _enjoy_ _this?_ At least he's trying _really hard_ to hold back a fit of laughter as_ everyone_ debates _my orientation!_

"And how many women has our favorite openly-closeted-bisexual dated?" Ruki speaks up.

"..I was holding out hope Kenta'd be gay," Hirokazu looks away, Kenta laughs. That's an obvious lie, he didn't even suspect Kenta as gay until Takato brought it up once, about six months before they were together. "A-And besides, _Takato_, the one who _confessed_, had a thing for Juri at one point! Jen _never_ even talks about crushes! Male or female!"

"Er...Th-That was...just grade school, Hirokazu-kun...N-No offense, Juri!" Takato says, nervously looking to Juri.

"None taken," Juri smiles. "I think he's bi." ..._Et tu_, Juri?

"I refuse to believe _any_ of the guys here are into girls," Ruki says. "_Especially_ Akiyama!"

"I refuse to believe _you're_ into guys," Hirokazu speaks up, Ruki throws a frozen mochi at him, he manages to dodge and catch it. "Thanks!" A second one hits him square in the forehead, sticking there. Kenta takes it. Ever since his revenge for all of Ruki's ambiguously gay Tamers jokes after I came out (accusing her of having a thing for Juri), Hirokazu's gotten pretty bold with his comebacks to Ruki.

"...I can't believe we _discuss this,_" I mutter.

"Jen's gay, Takato's gay, Hirokazu's gay, Akiyama's gay, Kenta's _really_ gay!" Ruki says. "That's what's going on here!" ...Ruki, _why_ are you so convinced-Well, okay, four out of the five guys she knows... ...Yeah, there might be a pattern. Ruki and Juri may just be a pair of wandering fag hags.

"I'm _bi,_ damn it!" Hirokazu shouts. We know, Hirokazu, _we know!_

"Ruki, I'm not gay or bi," Ryou says. "Straight. Sorry to disappoint you."

"You sure?" Ruki looks to Ryou. "You, the almighty Ryou Akiyama with a _million fangirls_ that you've _never once dated?"_

"None you know about," Ryou smirks.

"Only because they were fan_boys,_ Akiyama! Admit it!" Ruki shouts. Ryou laughs it off

"I know what Jen is, at least," Ryou says with a smirk. ...Please, Ryou, enlighten us. Please do, I really want this to _end!_

"What's Jen? Gay or bi?" Hirokazu asks.

"Neither."

"...He's _not straight,_" Hirokazu rolls his eyes.

"Takato is _really_ girly, Hirokazu...Jen could be actually be straight as an arrow." Ruki trails off. ...We love you, too, Ruki.

"No, he's _definitely_ not straight," Ryou shakes his head. You, too, Ryou. "He's Takatosexual!"

..._Takato_sexual...?

Hirokazu scoffs, "Dude, you can't make up-"

Works for me!

"I'm that," I say, standing. "Everyone! I am coming out to you as an openly Takatosexual man! I have come to terms with my Takatosexuality! I love Takato! NOW PLEASE _STOP DEBATING THIS!_" I can only imagine how bright red my face is. Especially since everyone finds this hysterical...Takato-chan, I'll pretend I don't hear you laughing at this, too.

"Fine, he's Takatosexual," Ruki says with a laugh. "I called it, though! Gay. For. Goggles!" ...She really did call it, that's what she described me as when Hirokazu 'came out' officially. Takato was 'closet case.'

"We're all very proud of your gaydar capabilities, Ruki," Kenta says. "Even Takato's didn't pick up on Jen. Just me."

"Kenta, figuring you out as gay is easier than breathing."

I sit back down, sighing, "I can't believe you guys actually argue over this stuff..." Takato gives me a comforting hug. "Thanks, Takato-chan."

...I guess they have a point, _no-one_ saw this coming. Especially me...I'm just happy things worked.

"...So, if Jen's Takatosexual, does that make Takato Jensexual?"

...Hirokazu...!

~Owari~

* * *

Original Author's (AKA Ori's) Notes:  
Eh... ...Not sure about this one... I tried doing this as multi-chapter but I didn't really have enough to go on, so I decided to go with Jen explaning the entire thing in detail. The fight was probably the hardest part to write...Hope I did a good job! I admit, I had some extra fun with the debate and creation of the word "Takatosexual" at the end...

Regarding the title: Kokoromiru means "To Try," like Jen giving "things a try" with Takato. However, Kokoro Miru means "Look Into [The] Heart," so it's a wordplay joke (Kokoro means "heart," miru means "to see").

...And I can't believe I remembered enough Japanese to make a wordplay joke.

In other news: Limping Osamu project... ...Look, I know I promised not to remove any fics ever again but... I'm giving the fic eight chapters to prove itself after I finish it: If it turns out to be a bad idea, Taiki's pulling the plug and I'll...pretend it never existed, sort of like I try to do with Mugen E...

...Except Twerp-chan will _never_ let me forget about Mugendramon blasting the Digimon Kaiser sky high with his Mugen Cannons as Osamu also tries to conquer the Digital World as the Digimon Caesar... ...Yeah, Mugen E was _weird._

So, just a heads up...I have no idea _why_ but this one really has me nervous. I've been working on this fic the most, too, which is why it's been sort of a slow month.

* * *

Taiki's Notes:

The fight had me scared to death, Ori! Don't do that to Jen and Takato again, please! Loved the debate, though!

And, yes, we have an agreement on the LOP2011 project: If my favorite chapter (which Ori has confirmed as 'chapter eight,' I'm still in the dark for most of the plot) does not "make" the fic, we'll take it down and Ori will commit non-gay seppuku to atone. I have no idea why but this fic is driving him mad(der than usual).

-Taiki Matsuki


End file.
